Weeks before General Conference, I had been praying and hoping I would receive an answer and help with several different struggles I have been having. I watched and listened to all six sessions and loved every minute of all of them. But, I couldn't help feeling discouraged at the end of it all when I still struggled severely with one particular challenge. Did my Heavenly Father not care about how I was feeling? Did I not have enough faith?
I sat down to read my scriptures that evening and some council from my Bishop came to mind: "If you don't receive an answer, keep going back to Him in prayer." I've always known that was council from God, so I did just that. I went to my room and prayed, even though I had prayed about this countless times before. I prayed for a long time. My husband must have thought I turned to stone as he kept coming in and out of the room and finding me in the same position on my knees.
As I was praying, I realized that I didn't need to know all the answers, but I DID need to rid myself of the anger that kept creeping back into my heart and mind. I pled with Him to take this and other bad feelings away from me, so I could be happy and at peace. I told Him I wanted to trust Him completely, but I needed to know how to do it.
And then a thought came to mind—a phrase from Sister Neill F. Marriot, who had spoken in Conference on Saturday. "...but, this doesn't mean that things are good," she had said. Yes, THAT is how I felt. Instantly, I knew that I needed to watch and listen to that talk again.
Listening to her inspired words a second time, I knew this talk was written for me. Even though Sister Marriot didn't know me, the Lord knew me. It was His message to me, through this heavenly woman. I wrote down the impressions that came to me. And as I wept and allowed myself to mourn, a sweet, profound peace filled my entire soul. It was more poignant than any other joy I have ever felt, with the exception of the joy of my children. The Lord loved me! He WANTED to help me.
I know this sweet, joyful feeling was the Holy Spirit touching, even grasping, my soul. I know this for a fact because there is no possible way that ANYTHING from this world of shallow sophistication could produce such a beautiful stirring and remarkable healing of my soul. Only God could do this!
I was reminded of President's Uchdorf's statement: "We don't believe in God because of what we don't know, we believe in God because of what we DO know!"
I believe in God because He has answered my prayers. I believe in God because the Holy Spirit has testified to me that He is there! I believe in God because I have received strength and wisdom and persistence and patience from Him greater than my own ability.
I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has His true and complete gospel. I know He speaks to our current prophet, Thomas S. Monson.
I also know that God is truly our Heavenly Parent. He and His Son, Jesus Christ, care about EVERY one of His children. He takes us how we are and molds us to become better and better if we let Him.
